Most of what I do on this blog is review sex toys, but it is because of these sex toys that I have the orgasms I do. And I’ve become somewhat like a rudely critical yet well-intentioned coach to my own orgasms, so I figured I would periodically review some of my more interesting [or disdainfully uninteresting] ones for all of you to see, complete with informative graphs!
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Name: The Underdog [Alternate name: The Flangasm after this oddly flan-shaped graph…?]
Starring: The Mood Naughty Small, The Ursa glass dildo, and the Wahl (yes, I managed a meandering orgasm even with the Wahl)
This masturbation session had very mediocre beginnings, which slowly fostered the question, “should I just give up, make myself a quesadilla, and try again later?” Then a strange feeling came over me, like a climax, but minus everything climactic except the shaky knees and thigh cramping. And after a few minutes of sporadic confusion, mild thrill, and a near charley horse, I had a saga of an orgasm that made me wish I wore a watch just so I could dramatically look down at it mid way through and time it for possible inclusion in the Guinness World Records. I just lay there thinking, “How is this fantastic thing still happening?” And when it was over, all I could do was let out a victory laugh and mentally pat myself on the back. Kudos to you Underdog orgasm!
Rating: On a scale of 0 to 10, I rate this orgasm a Rocky.