I no longer support LELO due to their partnership with a known abuser, irresponsible condom design, and many other offenses.
If you’re looking for a powerful vibrator that offers g-spot stimulation, try these options from companies that have proven to be less shitty: the L’amourose Prism V, the Swan Wand, or the We-Vibe Rave, all of which cost less than the Mona 2!
Tell Me How You Really Feel
For me, the LELO Mona 2 is a plot twist of a sex toy: it’s considered by many to be the holy grail of vibrators but PLOT TWIST I hated it, then PLOT TWIST I changed my mind. Really, I had half of a sassy review written about the Mona when my vulva started to understand what the hype is about… not without some residual skepticism though.
Material: Silicone and hard plastic
Total Length: 7 3/4″
Insertable Length: 5 1/4″
Largest Diameter: 1 1/4″
Colors: Red, Pink (“Cerise”), Purple
6 vibration patterns
The Good, The Bad, and The Plot Twist
I was so damn excited when I finally got my hands on the Mona 2: its beautifully shaped, made of silky, soft silicone, and it has some seriously strong vibrations. I was turned on just holding it in my hand! Not to mention, the Mona is one of the most praised sex toys on the market, as if it were a vibrator crafted by the Gods and then stolen by some sex toy Prometheus to be bestowed upon us mortals. So, I was about 300 percent ready to get up on the Mona 2. Unfortunately, when I did, I had a series of bad experiences that led me to banish it to the box it came in, assuming I would never use it again. I’m not talking about mere dissatisfaction, I’m talking pain and discomfort driven disdain.
Prime Example: The time I thought I would need the assistance of the jaws of life to remove the Mona from my body… I was wearing a butt plug and as I was wiggling the Mona around to (unsuccessfully) find a comfortable position in my vagina, I turned it to the side, which somehow locked it into its position. I then spent a lovely minute painfully turning the Mona to undo whatever grave misstep I had taken. I don’t know exactly what happened and I refuse to attempt to recreate the situation, but ever since, I look at the Mona very wearily.
So, that was one freak incident I’m fairly sure was caused by a sex toy poltergeist that got lost on its way to possess a gross jelly dong. But all the other times I tried the Mona were less than pleasant too: internally, the shape was awkward and at times, painful if I moved pretty much at all, and when I would amp up the vibrations, they reached such a high frequency that I winced at the thought of pushing the “+” button. I kept submitting myself to this because I thought there must be some key to operating the Mona in a way that didn’t make me want to encase its control panel in cement and drop it in the ocean.
Eventually though, I admitted my defeat, officiated our break up with a Twitter status, and packed the Mona away to never come near my vulva again. Fortunately, that plan was abandoned during a masturbation session when the vibrations of my We-Vibe Tango faded to a dying grumble. I was in between apartments and the first vibe I found when rummaging through boxes in a fit of sexual frustration was the Mona. My desperation acted as momentary forgiveness of its past offenses and I was shocked to receive a pleasurable orgasm by using the Mona clitorally on a lower speed. After that, I started to gain back faith in the Mona as I used it more and more, and now I’m able to see what works and what doesn’t for me.
So, while my g-spot is not Mona compatible and I have to stay within a vibration sweet spot or risk feeling like I’m having a cavity drilled between my thighs, there are some things the Mona gets very right:
1. The design is on point: all body safe materials, rechargeable, waterproof, and easy to clean. You can’t really go wrong with those things, so sex toy brownie points to LELO for that.
2. These controls speak to my soul. The buttons are easy to find, and since the pattern buttons and speed buttons are separate, I can pretend that I live in a magical place where my orgasms are never interrupted by zztzztzzt ztztztztztztztztzt zzzzzzzzzZZZZZZZzzzzzZZZZZZZZzzzzzz… when I press the increase button one too many times.
3. This is some sexy silicone. It’s really supple, has hardly any drag, and I get hot just thinking about all the hair I don’t have to pick/wash off every time I want to use it.
4. The shape of the head of the Mona fits perfectly on the side of my clitoris… the right side to be specific [that’s my good side FYI]. So there’s no awkward finagling or slipping like I experience with a lot of other vibes.
5. It also works really well with partners when I want something less bulky than a wand but need more reach than a bullet.
6. Lastly, is my favorite way to use the Mona: holding the entirety of the toy against my vulva so that the larger portion is resting at my vaginal opening and the thinner portion is against my clitoris. It’s like the Mona is spooning with my vulva [awwwwww]. Couple that with some grinding and a dildo inserted vaginally and I pretty much forget all the times the Mona has wronged me [at least for a few minutes].
For a vibrator that turned my vagina into a sex toy deadbolt, I’m pretty impressed that the LELO Mona 2 has made its way from a box in my closet to top drawer status next to my bed. I’ve called myself a middle of the road Mona user, and that’s pretty accurate. I’m neither in love with nor (any longer) in hate with the Mona… sometimes it’s frustrating and uncomfortable but other times it’s everything I want. Basically, the Mona is one conflicting motherfucker, like the frenemy of my sex toy collection. *Cue “Quit Playing Games With My Heart” by the Backstreet Boys*