Crash Pad Series: A Porn Adventure

Before I had access to even one gloved fisting or Magic Wand orgasm, my relationship with the Crash Pad Series put me well within the description of fangirl: I watched the episode trailers, read the blog, followed on social media, knew the performers by heart… I even had a pin on my backpack (custom made by an awesome friend) of Dallas and Syd #crashpadcreep. The Crash Pad Series was the first queer porn site I saw that was creative, positive, inclusive, diverse, and approachable. Yeah, that’s a lot to ask- I set my standards high, and after gaining access past the homepage, I was not disappointed.

Crash Pad Series is not a one stop porn grocery store where everything is sorted into easy-to-find categories** like bread and produce and anal. Instead, you have to engage in the site in order to find what looks or sounds interesting. Because of this, I developed a method of navigating Crash Pad based on the sciences of intuition and eany-meany-miney-mo:

1. Pick a random page in the “all episodes” section
2. Scroll through until something looks interesting
3. Watch! (and judge)
4. Pick a favorite performer from the episode
5. Go to that performer’s page and pick another video of theirs
6. Repeats steps 3-5 for an indeterminable amount of time/orgasms

It’s like a Crash Pad performer game of War or, as I imagine it in my mind, a wild-west style porn duel. This method is not for everyone and sometimes it’s not for me: sometimes I want to look up “rim job” and be greeted with a selection of ass eating videos, but labeling porn for the purpose of searchability can be tricky and problematic, so I thought I’d narrate one of my adventures through the Crash Pad Series in a speed-dating-esque review.

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This session started by choosing page number 27** and being immediately sold on episode 185: James Darling and Juliette March, because 1. James Darling is a babe and 2. the description includes some of my favorite things: spanking, face fucking, squirting, and grateful subs.

Episode 185

The way James confidently pushes Juliette into position and how polite Juliette is with her “thank you”s and affirmations of what a damn fine job James is doing makes me giddy just thinking about it. Plus, I was really in the mood for some fantastic cock sucking, and this episode delivered, both with the Vixen Maverick and James’ cock. I did feel like editing a tiny bottle of lube in Juliette’s hand with the amount of finger licking she does while rubbing her clit. That was my only triggered pet peeve though, which is pretty outstanding considering how judgey my porn eye is.

Maybe it was the massive kudos I give her for deep-throating the Maverick or the fact that I’ve watched all of James’ episodes, but Juliette won this round. On her page, I found episode 114 with Alani Pi, which played on my cock-sucking mood as the video-still is of Juliette in a RodeoH harness (can you tell I love pointing out all the great sex toys they use on this site!?) receiving a blow job. I needn’t look any further.

Episode 114

Good gawd, there are so many great toys in this episode! Most of them remain unused, but even then, the toys are the most exciting part. Juliette and Alani’s seeming lack of chemistry is accentuated by lots of giggling and the sound of two glass dildos tinging together to the beat of Juliette’s thrusting. It’s not an unrealistic scene, it’s actually very convincing in its “meh” but when watching porn, I want to see sex I’d be stoked about having and this is not it.

I reluctantly picked Alani Pi to take this round, but when I got to her page and was faced with only two episodes, this one and another with Nikki Darling, I decided to expedite the inevitable and skipped straight to Nikki’s page. There, I found a short film titled Put the Needle on the Record.

Put the Needle on the Record

crashpadseries_putdaneedle_0s3a2518The basic premise of this short film is an erotic, joint passing, gossip party where Ex’s story of sex with an elusive babe gets Andre Shakti and Drew Deveaux on the floor together and Nikki Darling’s eyebrow raised suggestively in Ex’s direction. The way this film incorporates erotic storytelling is fantastic: erotic films often rely on visuals alone, but this opens up the viewer to multiple mediums of stimulation. Plus, Ex’s story got me mega hot, so Ex took the trophy.

What I found on Ex’s page was a lot of rope, which made me very happy, and upon seeing more Maverick dick sucking in the preview photos, I was sold on episode 24 with Muscle Beach.

Episode 24

 

This is one of my all time favorite Crash Pad Series episodes, hands down. The level of comfort and communication Ex and Muscle Beach have in this power dynamic is so refreshing. The description says they are long-time partners and it’s entirely convincing. That’s really what makes good porn for me: even if a certain act or scenario is not something I enjoy personally, if I believe the people I’m watching are genuinely loving it, I’m likely down. This episode is also a fantastic example of an underrepresented type of domme/sub relationship, one that’s fun and caring and relaxed. So often, power play is portrayed as being ultra serious and dark, when it can absolutely be playful too.

Also, following our co-watching of this episode, my partner donned a cock for me to unwrap, bossed me around, and helped me continue the cock-sucking theme for the night, so I count this porn-venture a success. And although sometimes they are less successful, I undoubtedly find something I enjoy on the journey.

Thank you to Crash Pad Series for allowing me one month of free access in exchange for this unbiased and honest review.

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**Since publishing this review, crashpadseries.com has made some changes, so there are no longer page numbers. They’ve also added broad categories like “BDSM” and “Fisting”, an episode shuffle option, and a playlist feature, so you can find episodes in a bunch of different ways!

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