I’m still relatively new to rope play, but this was the first thing I learned after basic knots and restraints. It’s taught in Lee Harrington’s book, Shibari You Can Use, and I learned through online tutorials like this video by MsLadyWednesday and this variation by Lori. When I posted a photo of my first attempt, some of you seemed interested in a tutorial, so I spent a lot of time learning and practicing (and figuring out how to actually create a tutorial), and finally, here it is! Instructions for a secure, cute, fully functional strap-on rope harness.
If you prefer something with more written instructions and less 80s inspired music, that’s below!
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Appearance
[A dildo harness fitted around the hips with a ladder of knots down the front, extending under the crotch, with a simple diamond-shaped formation of rope in the back.]
Supplies
Rope. The rope I use is 30 ft long, but depending on the person, you might need more or less.
You can buy gorgeous, quality rope from Twisted Monk and Smitten Kitten.
Sex toy with a base. I’m using the Tantus Echo here, which I got from the grab bag.
Some knowledge. No matter the type of rope activity, it’s important to know some basics to keep things safe. I suggest this fantastic guide by Lorax Of Sex.
Rope Prep
1. Find the center of your rope and fold in half so you have a loop at the mid-point.
** You can bundle the rope or leave it loose while tying. I find bundling easier for the first steps, when the untied rope is still long. It’s also a way to ensure you have enough space between your body and the rope, so it’s not too tight.
The “Belt”
2. Take the loop at the mid-point of the rope and hold it in front of your body similar to how you’d position a belt buckle. This could be at your natural waist or lower on your hips, whatever is most comfortable.
3. Wrap the running end of the rope around your body and pull through the loop.
4. With the tension against the loop, wrap the rope around your body again.
5. This creates a new loop like two intertwined U-shaped. Pull the rope through this new loop.
6. Pull the running end behind the belt you’ve created. Keep a loop of rope beneath the belt so you can pull the ends over the top and down through that loop.
The “T” Shape
7. Pull the running end between your legs, and under the rope belt in the back. Now your harness looks like an upper case “T”.
** If you have a toy with a hole in the base like the Fuze plugs, you can string them along these center ropes to add some play for the person wearing the harness.
8. Make a knot by pulling the running end over the ropes running up your butt, leaving a loop like you did in step 5. Pull the running end under then back over the butt rope and through the loop. Pull tight.
The Front Panel
This may look complicated, but it’s really just one repetitious knot like you’re showing your crotch some love with an elementary-school-style macrame friendship bracelet.
9. Pull the running end back between your legs, separating the two ropes, and pulling them up through the back of the belt on either side of the front knot.
10. Now you have 4 ropes, two in the middle and one on either side of those (with their ends hanging over top of the belt). Begin by taking one of the ends and passing it over then under the 4 ropes, leaving a loop to pass back through like in steps 5 and 7.
11. Pull so the ropes bunch together, but make sure they don’t twist on top of one another.
12. Repeat this with the second end, pulling the knot snug beneath the first one.
13. Repeat steps 10 and 11, alternating ends, until you reach a desired area where you want the base of your dildo to sit. I prefer the bottom edge to rest over my clitoris for added stimulation, but it’s a matter of preference, partner, and sexual position.
Securing The Dildo
14. Spread apart the 4 center ropes, two on each side. Insert the dildo, slipping the base underneath the ropes.
15. Pull one of the ends down around the dildo and tie the same knot used above the dildo: over the 4 ropes, under, and through the loop.
16. Repeat this with the other end.
Cock Support
You can do without these steps, leaving the harness as just a plain thong style, but I like doing these extra ties to add more stability.
17. Pull the ends around their respective sides of the body, threading them up under two of the four ropes running down your butt. Each end with pass under a different coupling of rope.
18. Pull the ends back around their respective sides of the body to the front again.
Finishing Touches
19. Continue the alternating knots down through the crotch area until the rope runs out. Tuck the rope ends under the crotch knots.
** This is an awesome time to get creative by tying in another dildo for double penetration, or tying in another dildo or anal toy for internal stimulation for the harness-wearer.
20. Go forth with your beautifully tied cock! Flying unicorns are optional.
If you try it out, let me know how it goes!
YOU ARE THE CUTEST! I want a gif of you jumping around on that bed forever because oh my god.
Also, this tutorial is fantastic and incredibly easy to follow, and I love that you gave both the video and written options.
But seriously. The cutest.
Thank you!!!
I’m so happy it was easy to follow, I am terrible with written instructions, so it’s a relief to hear.
gif -> https://media.giphy.com/media/3oFzm5vITpJdk30bTi/source.mp4
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OMG this is SO COOL! I was literally just thinking about how I want to try a rope harness–and I couldn’t imagine a cuter video tutorial to use! Thanks for making this, and as Bex said, you are the cutest!
xxPenny
Your videos are just the cutest. This is a superb tutorial too, I’m gonna share it everywhere!
Amazing tutorial! You did a great job; it was really clear and easy to follow. And it looks so cute!
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This is AMAZING. And the video was magnificent. Is it weird that one of my first thoughts was “I bet Artemisia makes great friendship bracelets”?
Not at all! I’ve made some badass BFF bracelets haha
So happy you enjoyed it!
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Thank you so much for this tutorial. My boy loves toys and I’ve wanted to surprise him with a harness, only I’m kinda big and have been stressing about finding one that will fit me correctly. This is perfect. Thank you from the bottom of my heart!
You are so welcome, I love hearing the ways this harness works for different people! Thank you so much for reaching out 🙂
Great tutorial. I was wonder if you had any thoughts on how to modify it to hold two dildos at once.
The great thing about this harness is that you can really tie in as many toys with bases (that will fit) as you want. To have 2 dildos, just follow all the steps until you begin knotting under the first dildo, then decide how far apart you want the two toys (and continue tying for that distance) then insert the second dildo just like you did the first and continue tying to secure it. You may want to start the first dildo a little higher on the body, depending on what you’re using it for, just so you have plenty of room to place the second one. I hope that helps!
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My girlfriend wanted me to try this out, It works great as a bondage tool for men, just don’t sit down. EVER. and the base of the dildo in the instructions is the base of the penis, as attempting to split the scrotum with this harness will cause severe pain and discomfort.
Awesome! I’ve known people to use harnesses like this for penises, but since I don’t have a penis to try it on, it’s great to hear it works from others!
So funny comment. Tried this out and had issues with being A.a male who doesn’t have curvy hips. B. Using a dildo that’s massive.
So with two simple loops additionally above the hip it helped stabilize the massive dildo. (we are talking bad dragon XL toys). Works wonders for my size queen mate.
I’m so glad you were able to modify it to make it work, that’s awesome!
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My boyfriend told me tonight, that when he gets back from his work trip, I get to peg him as my reward! So obviously I googled “diy homemade strap-ons” and I found you! You are adorable, and I can’t wait to strap on, and get in there! thank you!
Thank you so much! And have fun!
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Thank you for the video! I had a customer come in that wanted a specific type of harness that only went around the waist which is next to impossible to find. So I tried this one and then tweeked it a bit to fit her type and VOILA!
Thanks so much for the video tutorial. My husband & I are thinking of trying pegging out, so I wanted to practice the harness to be ready when he feels ready. Very informative, & never thought I’d be able to tie something looking this pretty! I’m always more of a function gal myself. Thank you!
I’m happy it worked out, and thank you for the comment — it always makes me smile to hear when people try this harness!
I would never have thought one could do that. That is incredible and so well described graphically and in text. Well done
Thanks so much CB!
Just wanted to thank you for your work on this video tutorial. I’m so happy that I found it :3
I’m so glad you found it helpful! Thanks for the sweet comment, Sonya!
As a plus sized gal I have never been comfortable spending a lot of money trying to find a harness which will fit properly and work while the toy stays securely in place. I tried the strapless ones which work great until I get too excited, because it gets a bit too slippery and there is only so much holding a kegel can do at that point. I started looking for alternatives and read about rope harnesses, so I watched a lot of tutorials and different methods. I first tried one by Midori which isn’t nearly as secure as she makes it appear. As soon as there is actual thrusting it just starts to loosen and not stay secure. I gave up on finding a solution. While my husband and I were out of town and alone we decided to try to find something better, and that led me to this tutorial.
May I just say a big thank you, to you, for the written instructions, the tutorial pictures, and the video! This is the only harness which actually works and stays completely secure in any position we attempt. It is also fun to find ways to use the excess rope, and there are several fun ways we have discovered. I’d wear it all day if only there was a way to relieve my bladder without having to remove it completely. It is rather comfortable to wear.
Here is some advice for those who use the newer type of toys, which feel like real skin and are a tad bit softer, mind the wear caused by ropes. Those tend to end up with some damage around the base from the rope, and it doesn’t seem to matter which type of rope. The toys like the one in the video don’t have that problem, so they are better to use with rope. The ones which are softer and look more realistic are the only sort which we have noticed any rope wear and tear on. We had to stop using one such toy because it was too expensive to replace repeatedly.
Thank you so much for the kind comment! It’s true, so much is dependent on the person and it can take a lot to find something that works for you, so I’m glad this was helpful.
Thank you, thank you, thank you!
I’ve been looking for hours for a method to hold my strapless dildo in place, as nothing seems to work for me and my partner… I gave this a try and omg. Tight enough, the knots hold everything in place and they look so good.
🙂