Monthly Loves: Sex Toy Crafts and Ejaculating Dildos

April! It’s over!

I did it, the second month of favorites! Sweet, sweet consistency! It may be the second week of May, but that’s just the type of April I had. Let’s move on to the good stuff…

That Life Stuff

Not Having A Cold!
Most of this month was spent being a greasy pile of blankets, tissues, and the entire cold-relief section of the drug store. It is turning me the fuck on right now to not be playing Edward Fourtyhands with two thermoses of tea or having the energy level of Stoner Sloth.

I also had an exceptionally busy work/social month, which spiked my anxiety by about 10,000, so I needed something to take that shit down a notch. Doing little projects like making shrink plastic pins and sewing definitely helped.

Sex Toy Babes

POP Dildo
I’ve been low-key pursuing this ejaculating, silicone dildo since it first whispered across my Instagram feed six months ago, so when Shevibe [the beautiful humans they are] sent me one to review, I was compelled  to just “EEEEEEEEEEEE” when describing my feelings. This month, I only got as far as unboxing on snapchat/ using it as a water gun, so stay tuned for all the feels I will have when I fully test it.

Iroha Minamo
You know how I mentioned the blanket, tissue, cold-relief-med me? That all began with some severe sinus congestion, so my best friend for a few days was the squishy Minamo [I seriously thought about taking it to work with me]. I wrote about this in my local paper, but vibes are great for putting on your face to break up sinus pressure, and this one is like a snot-freeing, vibrating cloud!

I Want To Go To There

Airbnb Treehouses
Besides crafts, I also obtained little joys from browsing tree houses and cabins on airbnb. Keepin the fantasies alive in order to get by! But really, let me be a bath mermaid in a beautiful woodland tree-cabin!

Dreamin’ Hard

Being a Domme Brat
It’s a rarity that I have new sexual fantasies pulling at my libido strings, especially dominant ones, but I just feel like bossing someone around in the most Mean Girls way possible. Backhanded compliments, laughing at their attempts to please me, leaving them to brood in a corner as I enjoy myself. It’s very Queen Bee Empire, and it had me going this month.

Get In My Ears

Fist You Podcast
I am so damn into Archie and Ethel’s hilarious banter about sex, sex toys, and everything else. This is one of those podcasts I started sporadically, but this month I wanted ALL of them. Also, that theme song. Also also, if you listen to them, you get 20% off at Smitten Kitten (which is a forever monthly love).

Other Magical Things

Nipple Brooches!
I want to cover my life in these brooches by Paloma Smith. They are realistic, custom nipple pins with piercings and glitter and DAMN I WANT ONE, but alas, they are rarely available (and custom orders are closed), so I will instead search for the perfect jacket to adorn with a beautiful, sparkly nipple as I wait.

The Morbid Anatomy Museum
This technically happened in May, but I make my own rules, so there’s that! I am a nerd for the morbid, grotesque, odd, and darkly wonder-inducing, so when I was in New York last week, I made it a priority to attend their wax exhibition. I love wax anatomical figures so much that I have one tattooed on my body, so I was in a little piece of my own heaven.

This post is not sponsored, I just can’t contain my heart eyes. If you want to see more of the stuff I love, check out my Pinterest (no heinously impossible crafts or recipes, I promise).

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