A Femme’s Guide to Hard Packing

Person wearing a black harness, hard packing with a spakly pink dildo tied to their thigh using a red bandana with fists on itSometimes, your favorite cock is forever-hard, but you still want to feel secure, comfortable, and hot holding it down under clothes. I’m going to cover some general tips for hard packing and then some of my favorite techniques. I specifically talk about femme style, but most of these tips are universal.

Tips

We’re just going to get this out of the way: hard packing is not comfy, especially for prolonged periods of time. However, there are ways of making it more comfortable. The main problem is flexibility: most dildos have some flex to them, but not as much as pack and play dildos and definitely not as much as soft packers. This gets particularly painful around the base area, where the tension from pushing the dildo down makes the base dig into your pubic mound or pinch the skin around your crotch and thighs.

To alleviate some of the tension, slip your harness down so the dildo is as parallel with your legs as possible. This isn’t very functional (fucktional?) for most sex, but it ensures that your hard pack is as smooth and comfortable as possible. If you do decide to bang, all you have to do is pull your harness up and re-position. This is easiest with underwear style harnesses, but strap styles work too, just adjust your straps accordingly. Additionally, if your harness doesn’t have an inner layer of material between your skin and the dildo base, wear underwear to prevent chafing.

Another tip to cut down on discomfort is choosing the right base. While thick bases can feel more secure, bases that are slimmer and more flexible feel better when packing. The best I’ve found are from Fun Factory and Tantus.

Fun Factory makes all their dildos with curvy (almost flower-shaped) bases that taper from thicker in the center to thin around the edges. They’re highly flexible and conform to the curves of the body, but are also capable of holding up a sizable dildo. I love these!

Tantus created a unique base as well: a teardrop shape. It’s not part of all their designs, but there are still a variety of options to pick from: curved, simple, realistic, sporting Xs. The oblong shape allows it to stay in a harness, but the width is less than the average circular base, which is great when you’re trying to fit it between your thighs.

Obviously, the size and flexibility of the dildo are also huge factors in hard packing: the larger and more rigid the cock, the bolder your boner will be. Often, the cock you pack depends on what feels right for your or your partner, but dildos that are smooth, flexible, and small to medium in size like the Vixen Mustang and Tantus Sport are easier to pack.

My last tip is LUBE! If you plan on wearing your cock for a while, moving around a lot, or are prone to chafing, lube is your friend. Basically, you want the dildo to move with your skin, not against it. A long-lasting water-based lubricant like Sliquid Silk or Sutil works, though you might have to reapply depending on the wear time. Silicone lube is ideal for long wear, but some silicone-based lubricant and silicone toys do not play well together, so always do a spot test to make sure they’re compatible. Just put a small amount where your skin and dildo touch to ease some of the friction.

Techniques

My favorite method is using a bandana. I first saw this when Siouxsie Q wore it in CrashPad episode 180, and my face exploded into heart eyes. The idea is to subdue your hard-on by tying it to your leg with a bandana. There are so many things I love about this method! First, you can personalize it based on your body and style. Second, flagging! I have some feelings about revealing a hard cock and a hanky [the one above, holding down the glittery Adam, is from The Hanky Code, though I had to tie two together for it to reach around my leg]. Lastly, a bandana can help relieve some of the discomfort of silicone rubbing against skin. By wrapping a smooth scarf around the dildo before securing it to your thigh, you cut down on skin contact that may pull or rub in an uncomfortable way. As per all of these, position your cock where it’s most comfortable and works best for you.A person in a floral blue dress hard packing using a faux-leather collar and lime green dildoYou can also use a collar or thigh cuff in place of a bandana, which can be more secure and play with leather (or faux-leather/rubber) kinks. Plus, what you use to secure your cock might come in handy later on. Pictured above is a vegan collar from Vondage, which fits up to 42″.

My next method, which can absolutely be used in conjunction with the above, is utilizing thigh high socks. If you’re able to find thigh highs that are tall enough to tuck your dildo into, you’re basically in the running for some sort of femme peen outline award.

If you’re not into socks… Bike. Shorts. Many femmes love bike shorts because they’re perfect when you want coverage in a short skirt or dress, and they also happen to be great for tucking away dildos. Plus, bike shorts come in a ton or styles and colors. It’s a beautiful thing.

As is the essence of packing, especially hard packing, you’ll always have a bulge. If you want to be seen, pants with induce a lot of “is there a ____ in your pocket, or are you just happy to see me,” but it’s also pretty easy to hide a raging boner under an a-line skirt or dress. Pack strong and boner on!

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5 thoughts on “A Femme’s Guide to Hard Packing

  1. I want to thank you for writing such an interesting blog post on “A Femme’s Guide to Hard Packing”. I really love this topic. Your tips and techniques to holding the dildo down in place when not in use are wonderful especially being that alot of females are not aware of these methods. Thank you so kindly for sharing.

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