Review: Shilo by NY Toy Collective (Part 2: Packing)

This is the second half of my review of the Shilo by New York Toy Collective [find the first part here]. This half is more of an overview of my experience packing with the Shilo.
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I mildly freaked out my partner by removing all the furniture from the living room and most of my clothes from the drawers to bring you this video of me air humping in a onesie… I mean, showing you how the Shilo looks under different clothing types, so check it out:

I’d never packed before the Shilo, over and above tucking my hard dildo into a pair of sweats so I could get pizza from the delivery person, and although I don’t think I will start packing regularly, I love having the option to bring my cock with me so that I am ready for any cock-related events that might take place.

The Shilo isn’t intended to pack without a harness: its base is too large to sit well against the body without support. I prefer wearing it with a brief style harness like the one in this video, the SpareParts TomBoi, because it feels like wearing underwear (with a bonus cock holder), but any dildo harness you feel comfortable in will work.

I’m drawn to a more discrete look when packing, and since I’m mildly paranoid about roaming dick syndrome, I like the Shilo to be pressed snug against my body, but the Shilo can also be less subtle and even a huge show-off too. It’s all in the way you pack beacause different positions provide different looks and feels:

Tucking the Shilo between the thighs: For me, this is the most discrete option, especially with a pair of snug underwear over top to keep the Shilo from escaping the thigh hold.
Bending the Shilo to the side, into the leg band of the harness: This is pretty discrete under looser clothing and and doesn’t need an added layer of underwear to keep it secure, but I feel uncomfortable wearing it for a long period of time as my paranoia keeps thinking that the tight band is somehow going to turn to razor blades and decapitate my cock… or something along those line [I’m sure Freud would have something to say about that].
Tucking up into the waistband of underwear: This option lends a moderate bulge. It’s not as secure as the above options but I don’t get the same horror movie-esque feeling I had with the harness band.
Picking a pant leg: Simply tucking the Shilo down into one of the pant legs says, “Look no further for a glorious peen outline!” It’s very freeing, but you’ve got to be committed to a Jon Hamm moment.

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Review: Shilo Pack and Play Dildo by NY Toy Collective

Tell Me How You Really Feel
If my entire toy collection was threatened with being vaporized or shoved into a wood chipper or lost in another toypocalypse and I could only save three things, my current love affair with the Shilo by New York Toy Collective puts it well within the “oh, hell yes” category.

The Basics
Material: Platinum silicone, metal core
Color: Blue and yellow (just one of TEN colors including 4 skin tones)
Total Length: 7″
Insertable Length: 6.5″
Shaft Diameter: 1.5″
Head Diameter: 1.75″
Base Diameter: 3″

The Good, The Bad, and The Dildo To Write Home About
The Shilo is a realistic dildo made of squishy silicone with a posable core that puts it at the center of a “pack” and “bang” dick ven diagram. The Shilo’s shaft has nicely modeled veins that are noticeable but not overly exaggerated, and the surface of the silicone has a micro-texture like the pattern of skin when you look closely. The base is wide and made of harder silicone, making it anal safe and sturdy in a harness. Plus, on a shower-masturbation whim, I discovered that the base of mine is a very successful suction cup… I literally looked down, mid-ride, and commended the Shilo on its radiating awesomeness. A round of applause! 

Another feature, one that needs elaboration because of the mass orgasms it’s provided me, is the Shilo’s prominent head. If you’ve read my other reviews, you know that my pubic bone is like a crotchety old person yelling at kids to stay off their lawn. The Shilo defies this effect with its prominent yet super squishy head, hitting my g-spot while also painlessly slipping past my pubic bone.

Then there’s the Shilo’s bendy abilities, which allow it to flex in any direction including down into your pants for easy packing. The Shilo is not the first nor the only “pack-and-play” dildo, and it’s currently the only one I’ve tried, but I am thoroughly impressed and excited by how well it does both.

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Review: Fuze Silicone Whirl and Triton Butt Plugs


Tell Me How You Really Feel
The Fuze Silicone butt plugs are well designed, made of great quality silicone, and they come in a variety of shapes, like a “collect them all” type deal for your butt. I tried the Whirl and the Triton and ended up finding a new go-to plug in one and a new dust collector in the other, but overall my ass approves.
DSC_0768_stats

The Basics
Whirl (left):
Total length: 3 1/2″
Largest Diameter: 1 1/8″
Base Diameter: 1 1/4″

Triton (right):
Total length: 5 1/2″
Largest Diameter: 1 1/8″
Smallest Diameter: 1/2″
Base Diameter: 1 1/4″

The Good, The Bad, and The Chosen One

I feel like a proud parent watching my butt gradually grow up on fabulous, body safe toys, and these Fuze butt plugs mark another milestone for my ass: texture.

I’ve been eying the Fuze plugs for a while because none of them are intimidatingly sized, they’re made of quality 100% silicone, and they have awesome bases with holes in them. It’s rare that holes in sex toys are a good thing, but these holes are like little portals of versatility: they fit bullet vibes [and the vibrations travel really well through the silicone], fingers, rope… You can even use them in a sex toy themed X-Men parody [also starring the Doc Johnson Mood Naughty Small]…

The silicone used to make the Fuze plugs is smooth and firm for easy insertion but still flexible, they’re all around 1-1 1/4 inches in diameter, and the bases are comfortable between the cheeks, which is pretty much the trifecta of perfection for plugs that I enjoy wearing for prolonged periods of time.DSC_0663

Also, I usually don’t give a crap about packaging, but the tins that the Fuze plugs come is are brilliant. I never know what to do with butt plugs once I throw the packaging out: they look so sad just piled into a drawer and it’s hard to display them on a shelf like I do my dildos [maybe I need a butt plug curator]. So these metal canisters are great for storage and keeping dust off of the matte black silicone [aka the supreme champion collector of dust and hair]. Although, I blindly reached for one next to my bed the other day and grabbed a pepper shaker instead… which tells you a lot about what I do in bed.

I chose the Triton and the Whirl for comparison because both are 1 1/8″ at their largest diameter but have different shapes that I thought my butt would appreciate. Turns out, my butt appreciates the Triton far more than the Whirl.

Triton

The Triton is my most used plug right now. It has a shape similar to anal beads, but more so like a very tall silicone snowman. If you’re looking for something that’s a mid-way point between beads and plugs, the Triton is great because it can be inserted fully like a plug or inserted/removed slowly for a slight “popping” sensation. I don’t know exactly why my ass is so fond of the Triton, it’s just comfy… like the two were friends for years before getting into a relationship where they make fart jokes and eat pizza naked together.

Whirl

The Whirl, on the other hand, is like a stranger who gives awkward handshakes. It has far less prominent texture to it, so I assumed I would like it more than the Triton as an intro to texture, but even with a large dildo inserted vaginally I can’t feel the texture at all. The reason why I’m not a huge fan of the Whirl is the shape though: I’m just constantly  aware it’s inside me like I have an intense wedgy but no matter how much I adjust it, the feeling is still there. So after I wore the Whirl a few times for review-sake, I told the Whirl, “it’s not you, it’s me” and put it back in it’s tin to not be touched since.

Closing Statement
I whole-heartedly recommend these plugs. They’re all well designed, the silicone is fantastic, and they come in a variety of shapes and textures. I kind of really want all of them, which has led me to hum the Pokemon theme song [“…Gotta catch em all!”] as I imagine myself holding out a Fuze canister for a butt plug to jump inside with a burst of light. Even though the Whirl wasn’t for me, it just shows that some shapes work for some people and not for others, and that sometimes you have to try different awesome butt things until your butt is happy.

Note: after receiving a great comment below, asking about the small width of these bases, I want to note that you should keep something in them during use (e.g. a bullet vibe – on or off) to ensure they don’t get scooped up by your butt.

A huge thank you to SheVibe for sending me the Fuze Silicone Triton and Whirl in exchange for my honest and unbiased review.Save

Review: The Ursa Clear Glass Dildo

clear glass dildo clear glass dildo

Tell Me How You Really Feel
Prepare yourselves for a sass-free review, sorry. I love to find the flaws in toys, but my sass is no match for a well-made, well-performing, glass dildo. At first I was skeptical; my eyes are used to far more elaborate-looking glass pieces, which may have brainwashed me to think that a smooth, simple glass piece would fall short. BUT my vagina clearly disagrees.

The Basics
clear glass dildo dimensionsTotal length: 11″ (28cm)
Handle length: 3 3/4″ (9.5cm)
Handle diameter: 3/4″ (2cm)
Handle bulb diameter: 1 1/4″ (3cm)
Base diameter: 2″ (5cm)
Dildo length: 7″ (17.75cm)
Shaft diameter: 1 1/4″ (3cm)
Head diameter: 1 3/4″ (4.5cm)

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Review: Tantus Plunge Paddle

Tell Me How You Really Feel
The Tantus Plunge paddle is like a Swiss Army sex toy, and I’m all about toys that do multiple things and do them well. Unfortunately, the Plunge has a ways to go to be the perfect dual paddle/dildo for me. But for each of its shortcomings, I will gladly bend over and take another smack from the Plunge because it makes a damn fine paddle.


The Basics

– 100% Ultra-premium silicone
– Handle length: 6 1/2″ (16.5 cm)
– Handle diameter: 1 1/4″ (3.2 cm)
– Paddle length: 6 1/4″ (15.9 cm)
– Paddle width: 3 1/16″ (7.8 cm)
– Paddle thickness: 1/4″ (.6 cm)


The Good, The Bad, and the “Thank you, may I have another?”

The Tantus Plunge paddle is basically the Tantus Thwack paddle plus an X gene that mutated the handle to have g/p-spotting powers. It holds the potential of both a fantastic spanking and a fantastic fucking in one toy. The idea of an impact toy/ insertable toy hybrid is nothing new, but Tantus made me gasp with excitement and wonder upon seeing the Plunge  just by making it all one beautiful hunk of smooth, matte, black silicone. This is the smoothest feeling Tantus silicone I’ve laid my hands (and butt cheeks) on [as I sit here, groping my other Tantus toys to confirm]. This silicone does collects an unfathomable amount of dust though. Really, you might mistake it for your cat if you leave it out for more than an hour.


[images: (left) immediately after washing, (right) 20 minutes inside house]

Another compromise on the silicone is that there is some drag, so… lube to the rescue! Except, the lube then causes a new problem: if you want to use the handle as a handle after using the handle as a dildo, it’s then very slippery. This situation is very much like the book If You Give a Mouse a Cookie: If you give a paddle a dildo, that dildo is going to need some lube, and when you give that dildo some lube, it’s going to need a rag to clean up. And speaking of cleaning up (can you tell where this is going?)…

Usually, this is the part where I inform you of how blissfully easy it is to clean an all silicone toy, but there is one tiny (1/4” to be exact) set-back, a hole in the end of the handle. Like most paddles, it’s there so you can hang it up, but because this is no ordinary paddle [go go gadget dildo handle!], this hole has turned chop sticks into cleaning utensils and made me wish there was such a thing as sex toy caulk.
The purpose of using a non-porous material like silicone is to avoid places where bacteria and any other infection-causing germs could hide and then spread, and this hole does exactly the opposite. Fortunately, unlike tiny pores, it can be cleaned, but it’s not as simple as soap and water. The key to an easy cleaning is 1. Don’t let anything dry in there and 2. Don’t let anything dry in there! This was easy when I used the Plunge on my own (vaginally); I just walked my naked butt over to the sink after I was finished, ran some water through it and it was all set to be sanitized. But there’s something relatively unsexy about stopping sex with the explanation, “I’ll be right back, just going to rinse out the dildo hole before it gets crusty!” So when the hole does get crusty, you’re going to have to do a little more work than is usual for a silicone toy. What I found works best is to insert a damp paper towel wrapped over a chopstick (or any other object that will fit) into the hole and twist it until any residue loosens. [infomercial-esque demonstration gif!]


After that, sanitize the Plunge like you would any other silicone toy: dish washer, bleach solution, or boil. That last step is very important, especially if you’re using the Plunge between orifices and/or partners. Not only is there the hole, but there is a seam in the middle of the hole so you really need to be thorough. If none of this cleaning appeals to you, you can always put a condom over the end so you don’t have to worry about the hole getting crusty or the handle getting lubey, but of course that’s unreasonable if you want to do a little spanking and then a little fucking, spanking fucking, spanking fucking, and so on.

BUT I have yet to spite the design of the Plunge as I stand over the sink, thrusting a chopstick through that hole, because the Plunge is the sex toy of all my kinky wet dreams… and yet, there is still one more obstacle: my pubic bone.

The Plunge fits so comfortably in my hand, unfortunately the same cannot be said about my vagina. After my first use of the insertable handle, I was left thinking, “NOOO! Not another g-spotter that only angers my pubic bone!” *sulking as my dreams of an amazing toy run from my vagina* This is something I’ve had a problem with before when using bulbous g-spot toys: the “fish-hook” effect. BUT I was determined to conquer the Plunge. Challenge accepted! I tried every position I could: on my back, legs down, legs up, legs closed, spread eagle, on my stomach, on my knees, on all fours, skipping through a field of four leaf clovers and lucky horseshoes, etc. And I did find some positions that worked [GOOOOOOOOOOOAL] as well as some that made me feel like I was trying to tow a boat via my vagina. Also, lube tends to save a lot of situations [TV broke? Put some lube on it! Got a flat tire? Put some lube on it! Pubic bone holding your sex toys hostage? Put an unholy ton of lube on it!] and in this case, it definitely helped. Clearly, this is not my ideal dildo, but when the conditions were right, I was pleasantly surprised. Considering I’ll be using the plunge most often on my hands and knees though, my picky pubic bone will likely always be the victor against the Plunge. Instead, it works best for me as a little tease in between spanks: rubbing it over the clit and vaginal entrance, pushing it in just a little bit before…… SLAP.

Now, let’s get down to the good stuff. The Plunge is a fan-fucking-tastic paddle. Can I just end there? Because that’s pretty much all: my ass is scornfully overjoyed. The Plunge is thick but flexible, requiring less force to deliver a hard slap and leave a beautiful, stinging, red mark. But if you’re a beginner or someone with a low pain tolerance, trying the Plunge through clothes is a great way to help understand what you want from this paddle. Even through jeans, I could feel a slight sting, but it was definitely softened. Also, as a general rule for all impact play, the person implementing the toy/tool should try it on themselves first. With some exploration, you can absolutely get a softer spanking from the Plunge, but if you’re someone who has never used impact toys before, it’s not the easiest introduction. On the other hand, if you want a unique paddle with the ability to deliver an escalating amount of pain, this! This right here! Also, if like me, the thought of that stinging smack melts the pants clear off your body from excitement, then there’s a huge neon arrow pointing to the Plunge paddle.
“This is Artemisia FemmeCock’s red ass, and I approved this message.”

Closing Statement
The Plunge paddle is a compromise for me: I love the paddle and I love the idea, but my gatekeeper pubic bone takes away from the Plunge as a g-spot toy and *falls to knees* the hoooooooole! No doubt, I will keep using the Plunge as a paddle but it likely won’t get much use on the fucking end.

I would like to thank Tantus very much for being my first sponsor [!!!] and sending me the Plunge paddle in exchange for a fair and unbiased review. You can buy the Plunge paddle at tantusinc.com for $54.99.