Review: Shilo by NY Toy Collective (Part 2: Packing)

This is the second half of my review of the Shilo by New York Toy Collective [find the first part here]. This half is more of an overview of my experience packing with the Shilo.
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I mildly freaked out my partner by removing all the furniture from the living room and most of my clothes from the drawers to bring you this video of me air humping in a onesie… I mean, showing you how the Shilo looks under different clothing types, so check it out:

I’d never packed before the Shilo, over and above tucking my hard dildo into a pair of sweats so I could get pizza from the delivery person, and although I don’t think I will start packing regularly, I love having the option to bring my cock with me so that I am ready for any cock-related events that might take place.

The Shilo isn’t intended to pack without a harness: its base is too large to sit well against the body without support. I prefer wearing it with a brief style harness like the one in this video, the SpareParts TomBoi, because it feels like wearing underwear (with a bonus cock holder), but any dildo harness you feel comfortable in will work.

I’m drawn to a more discrete look when packing, and since I’m mildly paranoid about roaming dick syndrome, I like the Shilo to be pressed snug against my body, but the Shilo can also be less subtle and even a huge show-off too. It’s all in the way you pack beacause different positions provide different looks and feels:

Tucking the Shilo between the thighs: For me, this is the most discrete option, especially with a pair of snug underwear over top to keep the Shilo from escaping the thigh hold.
Bending the Shilo to the side, into the leg band of the harness: This is pretty discrete under looser clothing and and doesn’t need an added layer of underwear to keep it secure, but I feel uncomfortable wearing it for a long period of time as my paranoia keeps thinking that the tight band is somehow going to turn to razor blades and decapitate my cock… or something along those line [I’m sure Freud would have something to say about that].
Tucking up into the waistband of underwear: This option lends a moderate bulge. It’s not as secure as the above options but I don’t get the same horror movie-esque feeling I had with the harness band.
Picking a pant leg: Simply tucking the Shilo down into one of the pant legs says, “Look no further for a glorious peen outline!” It’s very freeing, but you’ve got to be committed to a Jon Hamm moment.

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Review: Shilo Pack and Play Dildo by NY Toy Collective

Tell Me How You Really Feel
If my entire toy collection was threatened with being vaporized or shoved into a wood chipper or lost in another toypocalypse and I could only save three things, my current love affair with the Shilo by New York Toy Collective puts it well within the “oh, hell yes” category.

The Basics
Material: Platinum silicone, metal core
Color: Blue and yellow (just one of TEN colors including 4 skin tones)
Total Length: 7″
Insertable Length: 6.5″
Shaft Diameter: 1.5″
Head Diameter: 1.75″
Base Diameter: 3″

The Good, The Bad, and The Dildo To Write Home About
The Shilo is a realistic dildo made of squishy silicone with a posable core that puts it at the center of a “pack” and “bang” dick ven diagram. The Shilo’s shaft has nicely modeled veins that are noticeable but not overly exaggerated, and the surface of the silicone has a micro-texture like the pattern of skin when you look closely. The base is wide and made of harder silicone, making it anal safe and sturdy in a harness. Plus, on a shower-masturbation whim, I discovered that the base of mine is a very successful suction cup… I literally looked down, mid-ride, and commended the Shilo on its radiating awesomeness. A round of applause! 

Another feature, one that needs elaboration because of the mass orgasms it’s provided me, is the Shilo’s prominent head. If you’ve read my other reviews, you know that my pubic bone is like a crotchety old person yelling at kids to stay off their lawn. The Shilo defies this effect with its prominent yet super squishy head, hitting my g-spot while also painlessly slipping past my pubic bone.

Then there’s the Shilo’s bendy abilities, which allow it to flex in any direction including down into your pants for easy packing. The Shilo is not the first nor the only “pack-and-play” dildo, and it’s currently the only one I’ve tried, but I am thoroughly impressed and excited by how well it does both.

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Review: Vixen Nexus Sr.

Tell Me How You Really Feel
I like the Vixen Nexus Sr. up until the point of using it for its intended purpose: fucking. I enjoy wearing it in my harness, feeling it bob a little inside me as as I move, looking down at its proud erectness and admiring its swirling sparkly indigo color, thinking, “what a pretty cock.” But somehow, when the situation of sex is introduced, the Nexus turns into a tool of clitoral destruction and frontal wedgies. And yet, I still can’t write it off.
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Review: LELO Mona 2

I no longer support LELO due to their partnership with a known abuser, irresponsible condom design, and many other offenses.

If you’re looking for a powerful vibrator that offers g-spot stimulation, try these options from companies that have proven to be less shitty: the L’amourose Prism V, the Swan Wand, or the We-Vibe Rave, all of which cost less than the Mona 2!


LELO Mona 2 vibrator Tell Me How You Really Feel
For me, the LELO Mona 2 is a plot twist of a sex toy: it’s considered by many to be the holy grail of vibrators but PLOT TWIST I hated it, then PLOT TWIST I changed my mind. Really, I had half of a sassy review written about the Mona when my vulva started to understand what the hype is about… not without some residual skepticism though.

LELO Mona 2 vibrator sizeLELO Mona 2 vibrator buttonsThe Basics
Material: Silicone and hard plastic
Total Length: 7 3/4″
Insertable Length: 5 1/4″
Largest Diameter: 1 1/4″
Colors: Red, Pink (“Cerise”), Purple
Features:
Waterproof,
Rechargeable,
6 vibration patterns

The Good, The Bad, and The Plot Twist
I was so damn excited when I finally got my hands on the Mona 2: its beautifully shaped, made of silky, soft silicone, and it has some seriously strong vibrations. I was turned on just holding it in my hand! Not to mention, the Mona is one of the most praised sex toys on the market, as if it were a vibrator crafted by the Gods and then stolen by some sex toy Prometheus to be bestowed upon us mortals. So, I was about 300 percent ready to get up on the Mona 2. Unfortunately, when I did, I had a series of bad experiences that led me to banish it to the box it came in, assuming I would never use it again. I’m not talking about mere dissatisfaction, I’m talking pain and discomfort driven disdain.

Prime Example: The time I thought I would need the assistance of the jaws of life to remove the Mona from my body… I was wearing a butt plug and as I was wiggling the Mona around to (unsuccessfully) find a comfortable position in my vagina, I turned it to the side, which somehow locked it into its position. I then spent a lovely minute painfully turning the Mona to undo whatever grave misstep I had taken. I don’t know exactly what happened and I refuse to attempt to recreate the situation, but ever since, I look at the Mona very wearily.

LELO Mona 2 vibrator evilSo, that was one freak incident I’m fairly sure was caused by a sex toy poltergeist that got lost on its way to possess a gross jelly dong. But all the other times I tried the Mona were less than pleasant too: internally, the shape was awkward and at times, painful if I moved pretty much at all, and when I would amp up the vibrations, they reached such a high frequency that I winced at the thought of pushing the “+” button. I kept submitting myself to this because I thought there must be some key to operating the Mona in a way that didn’t make me want to encase its control panel in cement and drop it in the ocean.

LELO Mona 2 vibratorEventually though, I admitted my defeat, officiated our break up with a Twitter status, and packed the Mona away to never come near my vulva again. Fortunately, that plan was abandoned during a masturbation session when the vibrations of my We-Vibe Tango faded to a dying grumble. I was in between apartments and the first vibe I found when rummaging through boxes in a fit of sexual frustration was the Mona. My desperation acted as momentary forgiveness of its past offenses and I was shocked to receive a pleasurable orgasm by using the Mona clitorally on a lower speed. After that, I started to gain back faith in the Mona as I used it more and more, and now I’m able to see what works and what doesn’t for me.

So, while my g-spot is not Mona compatible and I have to stay within a vibration sweet spot or risk feeling like I’m having a cavity drilled between my thighs, there are some things the Mona gets very right:

1. The design is on point: all body safe materials, rechargeable, waterproof, and easy to clean. You can’t really go wrong with those things, so sex toy brownie points to LELO for that.LELO Mona 2 vibrator controls

2. These controls speak to my soul. The buttons are easy to find, and since the pattern buttons and speed buttons are separate, I can pretend that I live in a magical place where my orgasms are never interrupted by zztzztzzt ztztztztztztztztzt zzzzzzzzzZZZZZZZzzzzzZZZZZZZZzzzzzz… when I press the increase button one too many times.

3. This is some sexy silicone. It’s really supple, has hardly any drag, and I get hot just thinking about all the hair I don’t have to pick/wash off every time I want to use it.

4. The shape of the head of the Mona fits perfectly on the side of my clitoris… the right side to be specific [that’s my good side FYI]. So there’s no awkward finagling or slipping like I experience with a lot of other vibes.

LELO Mona 2 vibrator5. It also works really well with partners when I want something less bulky than a wand but need more reach than a bullet.

6. Lastly, is my favorite way to use the Mona: holding the entirety of the toy against my vulva so that the larger portion is resting at my vaginal opening and the thinner portion is against my clitoris. It’s like the Mona is spooning with my vulva [awwwwww]. Couple that with some grinding and a dildo inserted vaginally and I pretty much forget all the times the Mona has wronged me [at least for a few minutes].

Closing Statement
For a vibrator that turned my vagina into a sex toy deadbolt, I’m pretty impressed that the LELO Mona 2 has made its way from a box in my closet to top drawer status next to my bed. I’ve called myself a middle of the road Mona user, and that’s pretty accurate. I’m neither in love with nor (any longer) in hate with the Mona… sometimes it’s frustrating and uncomfortable but other times it’s everything I want. Basically, the Mona is one conflicting motherfucker, like the frenemy of my sex toy collection. *Cue “Quit Playing Games With My Heart” by the Backstreet Boys*

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Review: Fuze Silicone Whirl and Triton Butt Plugs


Tell Me How You Really Feel
The Fuze Silicone butt plugs are well designed, made of great quality silicone, and they come in a variety of shapes, like a “collect them all” type deal for your butt. I tried the Whirl and the Triton and ended up finding a new go-to plug in one and a new dust collector in the other, but overall my ass approves.
DSC_0768_stats

The Basics
Whirl (left):
Total length: 3 1/2″
Largest Diameter: 1 1/8″
Base Diameter: 1 1/4″

Triton (right):
Total length: 5 1/2″
Largest Diameter: 1 1/8″
Smallest Diameter: 1/2″
Base Diameter: 1 1/4″

The Good, The Bad, and The Chosen One

I feel like a proud parent watching my butt gradually grow up on fabulous, body safe toys, and these Fuze butt plugs mark another milestone for my ass: texture.

I’ve been eying the Fuze plugs for a while because none of them are intimidatingly sized, they’re made of quality 100% silicone, and they have awesome bases with holes in them. It’s rare that holes in sex toys are a good thing, but these holes are like little portals of versatility: they fit bullet vibes [and the vibrations travel really well through the silicone], fingers, rope… You can even use them in a sex toy themed X-Men parody [also starring the Doc Johnson Mood Naughty Small]…

The silicone used to make the Fuze plugs is smooth and firm for easy insertion but still flexible, they’re all around 1-1 1/4 inches in diameter, and the bases are comfortable between the cheeks, which is pretty much the trifecta of perfection for plugs that I enjoy wearing for prolonged periods of time.DSC_0663

Also, I usually don’t give a crap about packaging, but the tins that the Fuze plugs come is are brilliant. I never know what to do with butt plugs once I throw the packaging out: they look so sad just piled into a drawer and it’s hard to display them on a shelf like I do my dildos [maybe I need a butt plug curator]. So these metal canisters are great for storage and keeping dust off of the matte black silicone [aka the supreme champion collector of dust and hair]. Although, I blindly reached for one next to my bed the other day and grabbed a pepper shaker instead… which tells you a lot about what I do in bed.

I chose the Triton and the Whirl for comparison because both are 1 1/8″ at their largest diameter but have different shapes that I thought my butt would appreciate. Turns out, my butt appreciates the Triton far more than the Whirl.

Triton

The Triton is my most used plug right now. It has a shape similar to anal beads, but more so like a very tall silicone snowman. If you’re looking for something that’s a mid-way point between beads and plugs, the Triton is great because it can be inserted fully like a plug or inserted/removed slowly for a slight “popping” sensation. I don’t know exactly why my ass is so fond of the Triton, it’s just comfy… like the two were friends for years before getting into a relationship where they make fart jokes and eat pizza naked together.

Whirl

The Whirl, on the other hand, is like a stranger who gives awkward handshakes. It has far less prominent texture to it, so I assumed I would like it more than the Triton as an intro to texture, but even with a large dildo inserted vaginally I can’t feel the texture at all. The reason why I’m not a huge fan of the Whirl is the shape though: I’m just constantly  aware it’s inside me like I have an intense wedgy but no matter how much I adjust it, the feeling is still there. So after I wore the Whirl a few times for review-sake, I told the Whirl, “it’s not you, it’s me” and put it back in it’s tin to not be touched since.

Closing Statement
I whole-heartedly recommend these plugs. They’re all well designed, the silicone is fantastic, and they come in a variety of shapes and textures. I kind of really want all of them, which has led me to hum the Pokemon theme song [“…Gotta catch em all!”] as I imagine myself holding out a Fuze canister for a butt plug to jump inside with a burst of light. Even though the Whirl wasn’t for me, it just shows that some shapes work for some people and not for others, and that sometimes you have to try different awesome butt things until your butt is happy.

A huge thank you to SheVibe for sending me the Fuze Silicone Triton and Whirl in exchange for my honest and unbiased review.